The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

4 CommentsJenny, Suicide
Waiting on Shore, copyright Bob Embleton, licensed for reuse (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Waiting on Shore, copyright Bob Embleton, licensed for reuse (CC BY-SA 2.0)

I have no idea how he’s doing, and that kills me.

I have no idea what they are doing to help him, what kinds of medication they’re trying, what kinds of therapy he is a part of. What does his room look like? How are they monitoring him? It’s hard for me not to know what’s going on with someone I love, whom I’ve had almost constant contact with for the past two months, and regular contact for a month and a half before that. I’ll get to see him tonight, for up to an hour.

My biggest hope is to find out that he is finding the time in the hospital helpful, like progress is being made, or a direction is being established. And I’m sure they would have called me if anything significantly bad happened. I’m his emergency contact. But the waiting… It’s a deafening silence…

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Waiting…

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<3

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4 Comments

  1. Ttrinity

    I am glad you will get some time tonight with R. I bet he needs the contact as much as you do. Yes, the waiting is the hardest part, for sure.

  3. Brandi

    He will want you there, weather he shows it or not. You are now a fundamental part of his healing process, and he does know it. This will be hard for both of you, and confusing at times. Just keep that open mind and keep remembering to not take things personally, and stay there for him. Be strong!

    • Jenny

      Thanks for this, Brandi. I’ve never been in this position before, and can only guess how it will all go. I appreciate your wisdom.

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