Okay, so I have a problem with this. Can you guess what it is? “We’re not always worth loving.”
I have been in so many situations where I wasn’t treated with the love I deserved, because I was convinced I didn’t deserve it. I have been beat up by “good men.” I have been abused in every single possible way by the people I thought would love me most: my parents.
It was hard to think that I deserved love when I was being sexually abused, and found out that the person who made me feel so good actually didn’t love me at all. It was hard to think that I deserved love when my mother watched her husband beat her children until they were bruised and bloody. I thought that love was being devoted to the person who hurts you most. It’s just not true.
Everyone is worth loving. I have learned this lesson so, so many times over the last 26 years. From my grandmother, to my church, to Jenny, love has always come my way. I always feel humbled by it, and I feel like I don’t deserve it, but I totally do.
Because I’m a living creature.
If someone makes you feel small, insignificant, or guilty that you aren’t good enough for them, then they are actually not good enough for you. That’s just how it works. The people who love you will make you feel loved. They will make you feel special, worthy, and welcome in their lives. You may be humbled by their love, but it’s only healthy if you revel in the love being given to you. If you feel humble or small because you aren’t treated well, then you are not being loved, not completely.
If you think there is no other choice, think again. I have been homeless, I have been jobless, and more. I have even moved across the country to live with the one person I knew would love me: my adopted dad. We adopted each other, and he is the best man I know. He taught me how to love myself, and helped me learn how to love others properly. I can never thank him enough for the honor of being his son.
The point is: There is always another choice. I went from bad relationship to worse relationship. Sometimes, the other person failed me, other times, I failed them. But my failings don’t mean that I deserve to be treated poorly. If you ask for help, you should get it.
I’m done rambling now. Please know that you are loved. I have enough love for the whole world, and that’s what is important. I love you. You matter. Take care of yourself, and others will respect that. Surround yourself with friends who value you. Value them back. It will all be okay, no matter what.