Basil Rathbone and I Keep the Discussion Going!

Temper: Happy. Doll and Photo: Rory Stark

Temper: Happy. Doll and Photo: Rory Stark

I got some new responses from our new friend (and obvious long term reader). I am going to keep the dialogue going one more time, then I will stop feeding the troll after this post.

“Meh! You’re a psychic vampire, so I guess I got ‘ told ‘ by you. Oh, just an aside, did you go and hold your friends hand, the one that was dying?? were you able to drag yourself out of bed/house/life to be there for him/her?? Please don’t tell me that my tax paying dollars aren’t paying for you to blog all day, create beautiful art when you are able too, and to homeschool your fiance/mother-figures kids?? you my friend are lazy….plain and simple….. and honestly, life is really hard… like alot [hyperlink not in original comment, but was added for effect] of people like myself have to deal with, without complaining or blaming or crying/needing keep taking it’s what you’re good at  :)”

Followed by:

“and I can probably say with certainty that your were NOT there to hold your dying friend’s hand, that his/her death would have triggered some innate parent created psychosis that you dare not tempt, lest you ‘ freak out ‘ and wind up needing help!”

Then followed by:

“PPS and your 1st Marriage ended unwell, and it was an ‘ alternative ‘ marriage, so your track record to date in not so good, and your current fiance is a FEMALE which according to you is not your norm, but what the hell, let’s give it a shot! let’s throw our previous sexual interests out the window, and try someone who supports us/thinks we’re fabulous/etc… etc…”

Hmm, “psychic vampire”… would that make me Edward or Alice Cullen? I’m not sure what reference you are making there.. If you had read my post My Friend Is Dying, you would already know why I couldn’t visit him. It has nothing to do with my parents. It’s a matter of anxiety, depression, and guilt. I did not go visit him. We were in contact, and he understood why I couldn’t be there at the end. I was, however, able to comfort him, and celebrate his life before it got that far. We spent time together when things were less serious, because we both knew what would happen as he got closer to death.

As to your second question, I’m sure you will rejoice with me in the knowledge that I am able to work. This blog is a hobby, and I do it because it helps me. Your tax dollars are probably spent somewhere else, by someone with much less reverence for your contributions to the world than myself.

I do have to contest your claims that I am “lazy,” however. Not only do I work, I help homeschool our kids, I clean my home, and volunteer in a non-profit. I also play an active role in educating others, as well as participate in both on-line and in-person support groups and fundraisers for mental health awareness/education/treatment.

I agree with your next point whole-heartedly. Life is really hard. Everyone deals with it. I have been told by many that it takes courage to talk about my particular struggles, though. I don’t do it to complain, cry, or blame. I do it to explain, and to put my experience into context for my friends, and people like you.

I must also thank you for complimenting my writing. Yes, I do take pride in being a skilled writer. Thank you for being a reader of my blog. Also, I must thank you for tripling my views for yesterday! I hit a record. It seems people are interested in what you have to say as well. Maybe you should start your own blog, where you can revel in how you don’t complain, blame, or need help from anyone. I’m sure it will be a compelling read, and I look forward to your optimistic view of the world. Please comment and let me know if you do start a blog, as I will be a regular reader!

In response to your reference to my previous marriage: My ex and I were both mentally ill. Neither of us accepted that at the time. Our struggle to remain together failed miserably, and it saddens me often. He is a great person, and sometimes I wish it worked out, but I am glad I am where I am now.

As for “previous sexual interest,” I think you’ve missed something. I have always been, and will always be, attracted to people for who they are not what genitals they have. I’d never have asked Jenny to marry me if I weren’t both madly in love with her and obsessively in lust with her as well.

Thank you again for commenting.

Share if it spoke to you!


  1. I hope, some day, “Basil Rathbone” learns to show one tenth the depth of respect, kindness, and understanding you show in this post. I am sincere in my suggestion for him to print out all relevant pages, including comments, and share them with people who care about him – and to take them to whatever relevant professionals are in his life: clergy, counselors, psychologists – whomever.

    Best of luck, “Basil”, in learning to be a better person. Given what you have shown in your comments it is clear you have a lot of work to do. Do not give up on yourself. Also, though, do not expect Rory to feel the need to give you a forum to demonstrate your inappropriate behavior. He is right – you can make your own blog and share your thoughts there. If you do, please let Rory know and allow him to share it; I would enjoy reading it and would be happy to offer you fitting comments as well.

  2. Well dang, I skip reading here for a couple of days and miss all the “fun”! Seriously though, I hate that someone would write those things to you, or to anyone who is trying to make a positive difference in the world of mental health. Sometimes I get a little paranoid that I comment too much on your blog (don’t want ya to think I’m stalking ya!) but the fact of the matter is, your writing really helps me. While I can’t relate from personal experience on every single thing you write about (for instance, my childhood was not nearly as traumatizing as yours) there are some things I really do “get” and I appreciate your candor in all matters. So keep doing what you’re doing!

    • Thanks, Amy. You are, as always, a welcome commenter. Thanks for always checking back in later, and for giving me feedback. Hugs from us to you!

  3. “I don’t do it to complain, cry, or blame. I do it to explain, and to put my experience into context for my friends, and people like you.”

    And this is precisely why I come to your blog on a regular basis, Rory. My 10-year-old daughter suffers from depression and GAD, and the insight that I get from your posts is invaluable to me as the father of a little girl who has had far more than her fair share of ups and downs. To me, Basil isn’t just a troll, he represents everything wrong with a society that would sweep metal illness under a rug rather than deal with it with the same fervor we try to fight and understand cancer or AIDS or any other innumerable physical illnesses. We need to become more open about mental health issues so that people struggling with problems are not ashamed to seek help, and Rory is simply doing his part to further that goal. I read somewhere that more than 60 percent of Americans with mental illness do not receive treatment, many of them because they are embarrassed or afraid of being ostracized. We wouldn’t accept it if only 40 percent of Americans with cancer got treatment, so why should we accept it when it comes to mental health?

    I hope that one day more of my tax dollars will go toward helping the millions of Americans who aren’t getting the treatment they need and deserve.

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