So, you all might have noticed, it’s been some time since I posted. In fact, it’s been over a month. I feel awful for this, but it makes a very good point: Depression doesn’t just suck. It sucks you out of your world. It doesn’t punish you, and make you lament your lack of world. It makes you not want your world. It makes you not care. It’s one of the worst things that can happen to you, emotionally. After all, does it matter if you don’t care?
The logical answer is yes. Yes, it matters whether you do anything productive. Yes it matters whether or not you talk to anybody that doesn’t live with you. But does it feel that way? Hell no. It feels like nobody else cares. It feels like anyone would be wasting their emotions if they did care. It feels like, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, the world does not matter any more.
My friends think I’m mad at them sometimes. I am sometimes accused of putting everyone else’s needs after my own. There is some truth to this. After all, if I didn’t take care of my own needs, I’d be totally useless all the time. But, if I take care of myself, then sometimes, I can take care of other people too.
So, that’s what I’ve been doing. I went on some trips, had some vacation time, and participated in some new sports. I stretched myself out, but I didn’t wear myself out. I never meant to take a break from blogging. Honestly, Firefox wouldn’t let me schedule my posts properly, and I got mad, and didn’t come back to it for a few days. Then it didn’t work again. I left it for a few more days. Then it happened again. I don’t have the highest tolerance for malfunctions in a machine. I got fed up, and forgot about my blog for a couple of weeks. But I love you guys, and here I am. I promise not to be too hard on myself. 😉
I’ll catch you guys later.