The Christmas Presents Make Me Cry

4 CommentsMental Illness
from the interwebs

from the interwebs

Growing up, there were … challenges to being poor, and having parents in denial. We didn’t celebrate holidays all that often, but when we did, we thought it would be awesome. The truth of the matter was that my parents only went through the motions of getting decorations and such when we were too poor to actually do anything with them. More than once, I woke up to open Christmas presents, and there were bags of rice, or bricks in the paper.

I remember one year, my bio-father came over, and started handing out gifts. It was awesome. Until I realized he had stolen them all. He had gone into a store, and stolen one of those 6′ novelty stockings full of toys, just so he could say he gave us presents. About 10 other times, all I got was an I.O.U. and a sad, defeated smile.

I haven’t looked forward to Christmas in decades. This year is quickly changing that.

I went on a bit of a wrapping spree yesterday, and wrapped a crap-ton of presents. I also finished making several, which felt really good. I was laying out the contents of the stockings (to make sure there was a fair distribution), and I was hit by the number of presents going out this year.

I bawled.

It makes me feel so good to know that the presents our kids will get will matter. They will be gifts they cherish. Thought and love fill every one of the presents under our tree this year. There are so many presents under the tree, and not one of them is for me. That’s the bonus bit, to come later. Jenny wants to wrap all my presents at once, so I have to wait. I’ve also been forced to promise not to shake any of them. Jenny is a real bummer sometimes. 😛

Right now, I’m having an on-off relationship with the living room. I know I have to go in there to unplug the Christmas tree lights, but then I have to look at the presents. I will have to suck it up, wipe my eyes and move on. I’ll be glad to though, because this Christmas, nobody in my house will open a God-damned bag of rice instead of a real present.

P.S. FUCKING SCORE! Snow this morning makes me happy. I’ll be in front of the fireplace all day if you need me.

Miss Jackson if you’re nasteh!

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4 Comments

  1. Tina

    Bricks? That sounds like an asshole thing your stepdad would do.
    P.S. you should have what I’m sending you in time for Christmas (hopefully before then).

    • Rory

      Yay! Also, that was all mom. Once He was around, we mostly didn’t celebrate holidays anymore.

  2. Anne

    I’m a bit behind on reading your blog.

    It’s frustrating that parents can be so cruel. I never celebrated any of the holidays growing up. Even though we never celebrated the holiday’s, at least I never got bricks, bags of rice, or stolen gifts! That would suck supreme!!

    We had an all handmade Chanukah this year! We’ve been working toward this since the kids were born. Michael and I have almost always, if not always, made the kids their gifts. It’s so much more personal that way! However, the kids haven’t always been able to make things as easily. They simply haven’t had the skills. This year, they designed their gifts and we helped them make them, as needed. Great fun indeed!

    I hope you have a fun, exciting, and a love filled Holiday season, Rory (and fam)! 🙂

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