Why Are Manic Episodes So Chaotic?
If you’ve lived anywhere other than under a rock, you’ve likely heard horror stories of folks with Bipolar Disorder. Thankfully, they aren’t all true for everyone, and many are exaggerated.
The Manic Voice
Jenny gets me. Like, totally. Jenny totally gets me. God, that sounds dumb the more I say it, but I don’t know how else to get the point across: Jenny understands the freaking weirdo who types these words better than anyone should know anyone, regardless of relationship. Case in point? Apparently, she can hear my
Question Everything. Mania Makes You a Liar (kinda).
This weekend, I did a lot of cool stuff. I made bread. I hung out with people I don’t see often. I generally did stuff. I also said a lot of things, and made promises. Monday night, I came to the realization that I had been manic. Sometimes, it sneaks up on you! The problem
Without Mania
Today, we went to our NAMI walk in Phoenix. Jenny and I did the 2.9k walk, with hundreds of others. The walk raised $134,250 as of today! It was a great experience, and a big thank you to everyone who donated, volunteered, and walked. Jenny and I also talked to dozens of people, and we
Non-Manic Frenzies
Sometimes, it doesn’t matter that I’m not manic. I’ve been dealing with it for so long, some of the behaviors are just, well, habits. It really sucks, because there’s nothing my meds can do to fix this stuff. It can only come with therapy, and behavioral awareness. It will take time, but I can do
Problems Are Problematic. Or Something.
I do so much in the effort to not be offensive. It hurts a lot when someone starts drama. It seems like no matter how hard I try, people think I’m just out to start crap. You know what it boils down to? Honesty. I’m serious. I’ll be completely honest with someone. No judgement, just
I'm Still Dying, I Promise
Sitting here, crying my eyes out, I wonder why I haven’t killed myself. I have dreamt, wished and planned. I have tried. But I’ve never succeeded, thankfully. But it occurs to me: Why am I not dead yet? It struck me today; I participate in the slowest, most painful form of suicide possible. Living. I
Insomnia on a Hot Night
I hate the heat. I hate being manic. I REALLY hate being manic and hot at the same time. Tonight I’m angry at everything, tired, and just plain fussy. Even cuddling with my Jenny isn’t helping. Sometimes I wonder if my world is going to be ruled by my mental illness, and I despair. Then
Energy Swings
Everyone knows about mood swings. They are those awful, awful things that can take a grown man from glowing with pride to bawling of embarrassment all in one moment. But there’s more to mental illness, particularly Bipolar Disorder, than that. The worst thing of all is what I like to call “energy swings.” Energy swings