(This one I wrote before visiting Rory in the hospital tonight, but I didn’t get it posted beforehand. Another post will come shortly.) I got to visit with Rory last night, with his chosen dad and another friend. He was anxious, but in good spirits. I really long to talk with him alone, because that’s
How do you possibly wrap your head around losing the one you love? By their own hand? I just don’t know. I can’t fathom. I mean, I have pictured it so many times in my head, because it’s always been a concern. Rory told me, even before we started dating (hours before, but still), that
I got to see him! I love how I’m always hit with how adorable he is when I don’t see him for a while. Like, how lucky am I to have him!?! He forgot to bring the blog posts he hand wrote to me, so we’ll have to put those up later. He was acting
He called me last night after the usual visiting hours. I couldn’t visit him yesterday, because patients are supposed to be there for 24 hours before getting any visitors. The perky charge nurse whom I talked to turned all soup nazi when I asked if Rory could have visitors last night. “It hasn’t been 24
TRIGGER ALERT: This whole post is likely a trigger. Don’t read it if you are sensitive to such things. I’m so tired that I’m shaky. That doesn’t help what I have to deal with. Last time, back in late January, we spent the afternoon at the hospital, and checked him in at evening time. The
What do you do when the person you love is in such a shape that they don’t trust themselves with themselves, having too many serious thoughts of suicide and more, and they want to go back into the psychiatric hospital? And said psychiatric hospital doesn’t have any spare beds? And you know that this person
Of all the times in a person’s life, holidays like Mother’s Day are supposed to be special. These days are meant to be days of joy, and celebrating someone who gave you so much, that it kills you to think about losing them. Mother’s Day is not like that for me. Not one lick. Mother’s
I’ll admit it. I’m a bit of a control freak. I like to do things my way. I like to be around my own things and around people who make me comfortable. I like to know what to expect from situations. Sure, I like variety and surprises as well. They keep life interesting and keep
A good part of what helps me understand Rory and where he is coming from is my own natural tendency to empathize, and I pay close attention to him because I love him so much. But another good part is due to my own experiences with mental illness. Though mild by comparison, everyone’s experience with
I knew that the euphoria that Rory felt after coming home from the hospital wouldn’t last. I knew his lack of depression also wouldn’t last. But since on his new medications, he sees and experiences the world through a whole new lens, and I think that is catching up with him. I wasn’t sure what
